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Tuesday, March 7, 2017

A Modest Proposal for "A Day Without a Woman": Boycott all Male Inventions Tomorrow!

Get out your tie shoes, girls. Velcro was invented by men.
(Although it's likely sneakers were invented by men too.)
Tomorrow's "A Day Without a Woman" event is the follow-up to the liberal, pro-abortion women's march that featured radical, foul-mouthed, leftwing  female celebrities as speakers. Since most women don't fit the category of male-hating, abortion-loving, LGBTQXYZ-advancing women, we weren't represented at the march and won't be joining the silly boycott tomorrow either.

Many hard-working women will be seriously disadvantaged by this ridiculous event. Think of the working mothers, especially lower income women, who don't have the luxury of skipping work and will have to scramble to find child-care for their young school-aged children in areas, like Alexandria where schools are closed for the day. Consider the impact if large numbers of nurses or others in critical professions joined the protest.


A friend and I were discussing the event this morning and reflected on the fact that men, especially white men, are continuously vilified these days. And if they're in law enforcement it's vilified cubed! (That's a math term for those using Common Core.) Frankly, I think the most discriminated-against group today is white men. They often can't get into the colleges, professions, or training programs of their choice because of quotas for women and minorities who receive preferential treatment or because they are just plain discriminated against.

White men, we're told, deserve to be oppressed in reparation for generations of "white privilege." Think about the racial bigotry implied by that phrase. The 14th amendment that freed the slaves was ratified in 1868. We are almost 150 years away from slavery. That's SIX GENERATIONS. How long do white citizens, especially white men, have to pay for it by groveling?

Since men are so evil, I think the angry women acting out tomorrow should boycott all the inventions of white men. To be kind to the silly women, I recommend only 24 hours. That means:
No incandescent light bulbs -- While not "invented" by Thomas Edison, he improved them to the point they were economical to produce and became easily available, but all the development of electric lights was by men. Fluorescent and LED lights were also invented by men so, Ladies, get out your candles! (Nobody knows who invented them.) 
While your dressing for this important day keep these things in mind:
Forget your shower. Indoor plumbing was invented by men.
No hairdryer use. Alexandre-Ferdinand Godefroy, a Frenchman invented it in 1888. So give yourself plenty of time to air-dry your hair or stick your head in the oven. Oh, wait a minute, the electric oven as we know it was invented by a Canadian, Thomas Ahearn, in the late 19th century. You gas oven owners can't use yours either. They were invented by a Brit, James Sharp, and patented in 1826. So give yourself plenty of time to build a fire and let it die down so you can dry your hair over the coals.
No velcro -- It was invented by a Swiss engineer George de Mestrel, so don't choose any clothing with velcro closings. Get out your slip-ons and tie shoes and button up those coats. No zippers, however, since the zipper we use today was invented by a Swedish engineer, Gideon Sundback. Also search your closets for something made by hand with needle and thread because anything made on a sewing machine is O-U-T! All of the work on sewing machines was done by men culminating in the machines developed by Elias Howe and Isaac Singer. And whatever you wear must have been hand-washed since the development of the washing machine was all men. (Well, can you beat that? Men were looking for ways to make "women's work" less burdensome.)
Enjoy a cold breakfast since you can't use the stove, the toaster (invented by Scotsman Alan MacMasters in 1893) or the microwave (Percy Spencer) but don't take anything out of the refrigerator because it was invented by men too. Bananas and apples are yummy.

Wherever you are going, use your own two feet since the automobile, the motorcyclebicycles, roller skates, and skooters were all invented by men. Since many of you are obese, this will be a tremendous health opportunity.

Get out a good book because you can't turn on the radio or television or the computer. No movies either. And wherever you're going, leave your phone at home. Both the original land-based lines and cell phones were invented by men.

Now that you know the parameters of what you must avoid tomorrow, have a pleasant banana-eating, book-reading day. I recommend a good female author like Jane Austen, Sigrid Undset, or Georgette Heyer. Or read about the female saints who founded religious orders and foundations or happily raised families. But remember, you must read by candle-light!

As for me, I'll be praising God for all the gifted men whose brilliant minds gave us so many labor-saving devices to make life easier. And I'll enjoy the inventions men created for our pleasure. And I'm already planning a delicious steak cooked on the grill (also invented by men) to be accompanied by baked potatoes, salad and a green vegetables to thank my dear husband for washing the windows. He will be in charge of grilling the steaks!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep your hands off my vacuum cleaner!

Anonymous said...

Ha! You took all the steam out of my plans for the day. I was going to march up and down the street with a placard but I think the streets around here were all paved by male construction workers, sweating under the hot, humid south-Texas sun (how sexist is that!).

Nor can I shout about the injustices I've suffered from the rooftop - same problem with my roof.

This is going to be hard going....


Anonymous said...

We have had decades without these so-called women showing up for motherhood.

Karen said...

No books. Guttenberg!